Into the Unknown

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Hades’s lullaby

ανάσα, σπορόφυτό μου,
θα έρθει η ώρα,
κοιμήσου, σπορόφυτό μου,
θα σε φυλάω.

ανάσα, σπορόφυτό μου,
η νύχτα είναι ευγενική,
Θα είμαι εδώ μέχρι
να κοιμηθείς.*

*breathe, my seedling,
time will come,
sleep, my seedling,
i will guard you.

breathe, my seedling,
night is kind,
I’ll be here until you slumber.

Listen, seedling,
Worlds collide,
I am he
Who stays forever.

Little seedling,
World is harsh,
I am here
To soothe and calm you.

breathe, my seedling,
time will come,
sleep, my seedling,
i will guard you.

breathe, my seedling,
night is kind,
I’ll be here until you slumber.

One day, seedling,
You will grow,
You’ll shine brighter,
Than the sunlight,

One day, seedling,
You shall know
Your own strength,
And your own power.

breathe, my seedling,
time will come,
sleep, my seedling,
i will guard you.

breathe, my seedling,
night is kind,
I’ll be here until you slumber.

Little seedling,
Child of mine,
Burning red,
As royal garnets.

Listen, seedling,
You’ll be fine
Long as you
Remember Hades.

Tannenberg prayer

God, be merciful – do not let us fall as we approach the battle most dire.

God, be merciful – to us, your warriors and those who shall be called first into your light.

God, be merciful- let this battle not be in vain, let our eyes see the truth as we approach the shadowlands.

God, be merciful- let our spirits remain strong as the battle rages around us.

God, be merciful- let your hand guide us where we dare not go.

God, be merciful- let not our deaths define our lives.

God, be merciful, for our earthly quest is never done until we reach the light.

God, be merciful. In the darkest of nights we pray to ease the pain of the final hours yet to come.

God, be merciful. May your holy name keep us from doubt on the way to our end.

***

Gott, sei barmherzig – lass uns nicht fallen, während wir uns der schlimmsten Schlacht nähern.

Gott, sei barmherzig – zu uns, deinen Kriegern und denen, die als erste in dein Licht gerufen werden.

Gott, sei barmherzig – lass diesen Kampf nicht vergeblich sein, lass unsere Augen die Wahrheit sehen, während wir uns den Schattenländern nähern.

Gott, sei barmherzig – lass unseren Geist stark bleiben, während der Kampf um uns herum tobt.

Gott, sei barmherzig – lass deine Hand uns dorthin führen, wo wir uns nicht hinwagen.

Gott, sei barmherzig – lass nicht unseren Tod unser Leben bestimmen.

Gott, sei barmherzig, denn unsere irdische Suche ist nie beendet, bis wir das Licht erreichen.

Gott, sei barmherzig. In der dunkelsten aller Nächte beten wir, um den Schmerz der letzten Stunden zu lindern, die noch vor uns liegen.

Gott, sei barmherzig. Möge dein heiliger Name uns vor Zweifeln auf dem Weg zu unserem Ende bewahren.

– Tannenberg-Gebet

***

We are going to fall.

…We are going to fall. I know it now. No matter how hard we try, no matter how great we seem – God has turned his back on us. This battle will be our downfall, our end.

We will fall. Unsung, unwept, forgotten, our blood washing over the land. We will fall – but never gone, for we have sworn to keep the land.

Farewell, the land of the darkest forests, we are going to die – with the name of God on our lips, our hearts bleeding for the freedom that never came.

Wir werden fallen. Ich weiß es jetzt. Egal, wie sehr wir uns anstrengen, egal, wie großartig wir scheinen – Gott hat sich von uns abgewandt. Dieser Kampf wird unser Untergang sein, unser Ende.

Wir werden fallen. Unbesungen, unbeweint, vergessen, unser Blut wird das Land überfluten. Wir werden fallen – aber niemals verschwinden, denn wir haben geschworen, das Land zu bewahren.

Lebe wohl, Land der dunkelsten Wälder, wir werden sterben – mit dem Namen Gottes auf unseren Lippen, unsere Herzen bluten für die Freiheit, die nie kam.

~ Ulrich von Jungingen, Grand master of the Teutonic order, July 1410

Heinrich/ Koenigsberger Dom

Koenigsberger Dom/ Heinrich

Show me more.
I want to know.
Tell me more.
I want to hear.

Pain or anger,
Grief or sorrow,
No matter.
I will be there.

Show me more.
Do not hide.
Tell me more,
I have come too far.

Memories or thoughts,
Dreams or feelings,
No matter.
I will withstand.

Show me everything.
I am ready.
Tell me everything,
I will not back away.

What and how

What do you see in me?

Amber and gold, sunlight and arrows, life and death.

How do you see me?

Dazzling, aflame, glorious.

Who do you want to love?

You as you are, the goldenhaired son of Zeus.

What will you give me?

Me, as I am, however little that is. Mortality is frail- yet I will give you my heart.

What do you want to ask?

Who do you see?

Silken curls, sun-kissed skin, eyes like the stormy sea.

How do you see me?

Lonely. Too thoughtful for a prince, too skilful for a singer, too humble for a seer.

What will you give me?

The rage of the storm, the flame of Olympus, the passion of the sun. Visions of the future, voice of thunder, might and glory.

Why do you love me?

For your brokenness, your fragility, your despair. Your strength and your youth, your beauty and sadness.

What will your love bring ?

Safety and pain, knowledge and loss, fire and death. Rebirth and demise, laurel and gold, ambrosia and ash.

What can I give you?

Your heart and your mind, your voice and your timidity, your ardour and your loyalty. Be mine – and you will want for nothing.

What if…

Wrath. Anger. Blood and amber. Flames engulfing Troy.

What if I agree?

Love and pain, passion and tenderness…blood and amber. Flames engulfing Troy.

Death has the face

Death follows you,
She said.
Death hovers over you,
She said.
Death has the face
Of Apollo.

You know nothing,
He sighed.
How can you know,
He sighed,
You are nothing
But a jealous woman.

Apollo brings death,
She said.
His arrows hurt,
She said.
You shall run mad
Because of him.

You know nothing,
He said.
Poisonous are your words,
He said.
You never were
Beloved by a god.

Oh but I was,
She said.
Way back when,
She said,
When we tell asleep
At the temple.

The snakes came,
He recalled.
They came to bite,
He recalled.
But they licked our ears
And we heard.

Those were his,
She said.
He sent them,
She said.
And he said
He loved me.

I refused him,
She said.
I denied him my love,
She said.
And he vowed
No one would ever believe.

You denied him,
He said,
And I welcomed him,
He said.
He will never hurt me,
For he loves me.

Oh but he will,
She said,
Like he did Hyacinthus,
She said.
No good comes
Of divine love.

I love him,
He whispered.
And I will stand by him
He said
Until my last breath
On the last day.

What if he leaves?
She asked.
What if he forsakes you?
She asked.
Will you still
Stand by him?

I shall,my sister,
He said.
For his amber eyes,
He said.
For his music
Has crept into my soul.

Die then,
She sighed.
But remember,
She said,
I tried to save you
Way back when.

Bless me, my sister,
He said,
Not for the sake of Apollo,
He said,
But for the love
You bear me.

I shall, brother mine,
She said
And may you stand
She said
When we all fall
By the walls of Troy.

At times, he would look at me with his chalcedony eyes, and the world would stop only to spin faster. And I would vanish, disappear, dissolve in this golden-blue haze, that would become greenish, yellow, silvery, sparkling like the finest champagne – but that reverie would end as it began, in throes of endless wonder…and pain, as nothing was as hard, as excruciating as tearing myself away from his magic.

And seeing me, lost, my head spinning, he’d laugh – boyishly, carelessly, and say, almost reprovingly :

‘You love me too much’

‘I do ‘ I’d reply ‘And it’ll finish me off one day ‘

‘No doubt of it’

And a smile would flicker in the depth of his eyes, a cynical, cold smile of triumph. He delighted in torturing me, he enjoyed pushing me to the edge, drowning me in despair – to same extent that he loved being loved and love. That drove me mad, and my anguish resounded in him, filling him with venom.

‘You love driving me mad’ I’d say

‘You love being driven mad’ he’d retort ‘Don’t you, my little martyr? You love it. Enjoy it while it lasts, Saint Sebastian. Enjoy the torture.’

And he was right – I loved being tortured that way, for my torturer was my healer as well. My saviour, my healer, my love- and my killer.

He gave me life – taking it from me.
He raised me from the sickbed, only to throw me headfirst into the grave.
He was my killer – but we shared a tomb,
He was my life – but we walked in the shadow of Death.

Funny isn’t it?…

L.L

#deadofthenight_vampires

…I loved him.

He was my coal fire, my flame in the midst of winter. He was my world – my universe revolved around his smile. His eyes were my twin stars, my sun and moon, and my heart missed beats when he looked at me.

I loved him.

He was joie de vivre incarnate, with his melodious laughs, his musicality, his sense of humour. He could make anything worth noticing, life was worth living, death seemed a dance.

I loved him. Loved him and hated him.

He was my funeral pyre. He tortured me, he teased me with his subtlety and sensuality, his glances full of longing and movements, so languid, so full of desire.

I hated him – yes. I despised myself in his presence, I seemed to myself nothing more but a shadow – for he was life itself. He would freeze me with silence, only to burn me up with his passion.

But there were moments I could do nothing but love him – absolutely, unconditionally. Moments when he stroked my hair, while I was falling asleep on his chest, whispering my name:

‘Louis…’

L.

…I may have loved you from afar,
Just when the time was young,
And love as sweet,
I may have loved you from afar,
But never dared to think,
Or look, or speak…

~Anon

My life was long, and long was my desire
To find another soul in endless maze,
To find someone who could aspire
To burn and soar in my embrace.

I was a fool attempting to ignore
My heart’s own song that drove me wild,
In bustling crowds I was alone,
Immortal – yet afraid of mortal fire.

My city drowned in music – I was deaf
To sounds that once held me enchanted
My city bloomed – I was bereft
Of all emotions that abounded.

Held captive by my doubts, I was lost
In thoughts of everlasting glory
The time ran slow, the wind was cold,
My strength was past restoring.

But then you called – and life returned
To frozen limbs, to soul in torment,
Half-dead, half-living in the mortal cold,
Forever yours – your friend and servant.

Be not afraid for I am here to serve
And not to harm or maim I promise,
Your voice has opened up the doors
To lives and bloodlines, songs and stories.

You hold the key – and I shall be a gate
To New Orleans if you so desire,
I hope that you will not send me away-
But I’ll abide by it, by cold and fire.

Out of…

Out of pain my song rises,
Out of the dark.
Through the mist it soars
Into the night.

Higher and higher it flies
Too high to see,
Reaching the unreachable
The unknown.

Out of the depth my song rises
Out of the dark,
Plunging into the water
Into the night.

Deeper and deeper it falls
Too deep to feel,
Singing still, ringing quietly
In the halls of the dead.

Out of the dream my song rises,
Out of the dusk
Between day and night,
Sun and moon.

Beating wildly are its wings,
Unclipped, untamed
Is the spirit,
Uncatcheable is the voice.

Out of memory my song rises,
Out of the past,
Unwinding time,
Uniting spaces.

Louder and louder it sings,
Passion drives it forth,
Bleeding and burning,
It sings out.

Out of love and loss my song rises
Out of the abyss
Left in my heart and mind
By the passing of Taliesin.

~Hanes Aneirin

Hypnos/Thanatos

Sleep is the brother of Death:
Nothing to fear.
Nothing to run from.
Sleep is the brother of Death.

Children of the Endless,
Sons of Night,
Almighty, merciful,
More powerful than gods.

The Night gave us life
The Night bore us
Under the endless skies,
By moon, stars and sea.

Death is the brother of Sleep,
Lavender tinted with opium,
Valerian-scented honey,
Death is the brother of Sleep.

We walk hand in hand,
Healers, pain whisperers,
Voices of lullabies long gone,
Keepers of stories

Sons of Night,
Brothers in arms,
Brothers by blood,
Marrow and bone.

Merciful.
Kind.
Wise.
More powerful than gods.