I honestly never thought I’d be experiencing a writer’s block in front of a blank page. I mean, I’ve never had one, in all my writing years, and there’s been about ten of them, if not more. But here I am, in front of my computer, renewing my relationship with wordpress after a long, 5 year pause. So much is different, including me – I am no longer an ever doubting, hesitant, unsure – yet still humble. I write when I feel up to it, and I explore the world previously hidden from me. Celtic lore was a mystery, a deep yearning, something that had always triggered my imagination, and nurtured my dreams but I’d never have thought it would become an essential part of my life, my central point of view, my…world?

Growing up on folk tales of Faerie, wondrous bards and powerful magicians, Arthurian sagas and legends of Myrddin and good king Gwyn, as well as (my eternal gratitude goes to Jim Henson, George Lucas and David Bowie, Brian Froud and Terry Jones) the magical Labyrinth movie, wasn’t gonna end with adolescence or getting old enough. It wasn’t gonna end at all, and I suspect it was quite a conscious decision of not letting it all go, when faced with a choice. Leaving it all would be the same as betrayal, and I could not do that to something I loved so much.

That’s how it all began, and that’s how it all went, up until the moment I felt the hiraeth – that inexplicable desire, that longing for the places I’ve never been to. Wales became something that I would only dream of visiting. Here I have to make something clear – I am no what you’d call particularly wealthy, or even native in terms of language. My first language is Russian, and English became an obsession only in my teenage years, so Wales or Ireland was out of the question. And I kept wondering, dreaming and hoping to get outta here and into there, if that’s an applicable formula.

But hiraeth never left, and when I met my second husband earlier this year, after a devastating marriage #1, the longing was rekindling even more, for both of us were in the same Celtic boat. Exploring, tentatively, inquisitively, from all possible points of view, the heritage that was ours only heartwise, yet never factwise. You see what I mean? I felt something pulling me – and the pull was obvious. Last year it was softer, yet persisent, and it came from what I now know as Annwfn, the Welsh otherworld. The Good Neighbors obviously wanted me to cooperate, being a medium and a writer, and I was slow to respond, although no harm came from the contact. Sporadic – if not rare – were the contacts with Irish deities, such as the Dagda, the Morrigan, Lugh and Brigit, but the strongest call came from Cernunnos, Arawn, Gwydion – and Gwyn ap Nudd, which wasn’t as surprising as it might have been.

This blog is nothing but an attempt of keeping it all open, and chronicled – for that was the point the Fair Folk made very clear – and I am not going to break a promise I’ve made – so here it is.

Enjoy,

And may the blessings of the Fair folk be with you.