As if

Sometimes I would catch her
Staring silently
Into the void,
As if Asgard never mattered.

Sometimes I would find her
Close to the edge
Of the world,
As if Volkvangr never existed.

Sometimes I would hear her
Singing to the waves
At dawn,
As if her soul was dying of grief.

Sometimes I would come closer
And hold her
Softly, yet firmly,
As if that was ever enough.

Sometimes I would hear her cry,
And her tears
Would turn to amber
As if it was the sun that cried.

Sometimes I would hear her
Whisper my name
And sigh,
As if the world was ending.

Sometimes my heart would ache
So much that
I could not breathe
As if my death was close.

Sometimes she would hide
On my chest
And my soul would cry out-
As if Ragnarok was inches away.

Sometimes I would pray
To the Allfather at night
To find another warden –
As if he could hear me.

Sometimes I would wish
I wasn’t Heimdallr,
The keeper of dawn,
As if that could change a thing.

Sometimes I would kiss her
Without her knowing,
With sea salt and wind,
As if…